Cold as Hell

Satan has taken many pleasing forms over the years: Elizabeth Hurley, Raquel Welsh and others. But one of these disguises that tends to slip under our radar is Santa. Everyone loves Santa. They say Santa makes a list and checks it twice, but who's checking to see that he's checking? It seems to me that a few too many boys and girls get presents from Santa when they're not very nice. Dare I say naughty? This could only be the work of the evil one. This ability to fly around the world on a sleigh and drop presents through chimneys is suspiciously demonic. Everyone knows Satan can fly because he's an angel, but his accuracy in dropping objects onto targets has a dark side. And if you examine the hooves of his reindeer closely, you'll be shocked to see that they are indeed cloven. He likes red. I wonder why. He hangs out with small elves all day in the workshop. No one suspects a thing. But perhaps his most telling giveaway is his takeover of Christ's birthday. Jesus didn't look or act anything like Santa Claus.
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